When our children are babies we spend a lot of time with them, playing, teaching them new things, and marveling over how cute they are. But as they start to grow up many parents and their children begin to grow apart - the once solid bond nearly breaking during the teenage years. Can this be prevented? I say yes!
It's common to hear parents talk about what a "brat" their child has become and how they have nothing but trouble with them. How they do nothing but talk on the phone. Their clothes are all wrong, their friends are no good. One woman is overheard continuously telling her child that she's going to wind up in a girl's home! Very sad! Probably even more common though is the teen telling their friends what a (insert derogatory term here) their parents are and how mean they are and how they treat them like babies. Deep down I think they secretly wish their parents WOULD treat them like babies. They still yearn to be held, told how great they are in mommy's or daddy's eyes and yes, to be played with. You know, toss a ball or frisbee around in the back yard, play tag, wrestle around on the floor, cook something together, go to the pool together, cuddle on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie, little things like that. You might be surprised at how receptive they are!
Sure, we need to give our children room to grow up and become independent but that doesn't mean we have to let go altogether. Trust me, they'll be much better equipped to ease into the transition of adulthood knowing that even though the apron strings are coming untied they can still hang on to the ends and reel back in every now and then. Growing up is exciting yet scary at the same time. It takes a delicate balance of pushing and pulling on a parent's part to make the bumpy road as smooth as possible. If we can just step back from the pressures of day-to-day life and tune in to the instincts we were given, we CAN get it right. Sure, no one's perfect but if we do the best we can, admit our mistakes and apologize when necessary, stay focused and consistent, it will show and our kids will love and respect us for it, assured that we have their best interests at heart.
So, even if you're tired and your knees ache from arthritis and you get winded easily, still try to spend the time with them they so desperately need. Since teens don't always feel it's ok to still be a kid, take the initiative and offer yourself once in awhile - but don't feel put off when they'd rather spend time with their own age group.
