I Dream Of Jeans That Fit

I read somewhere recently that you burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. So I thought, what if I slept on the couch with the television on? Surely, I would burn even more calories that way.

Driving The Impossible

Why do air force pilots train for hours to fly in formation yet anybody who can drive around the block a few times can get a license and then drive down a six-lane freeway at 70 miles per hour ‘in formation’ with the other cars on the road?

The Miracle of Modern Medicine

Recently one of my children needed to have a brain MRI
done. She’s only three and not yet speaking (hence
one of the reasons for the procedure), so there was no
real way to prepare her for the exam. Unfortunately,
nobody prepared us for it either.

A Mom's New Year's Resolution

This year I resolve to...

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

We live in California. For most of my life I thought it was a myth that California was sunny because we live on the coast. You need a winter coat and heavy blanket to celebrate the Fourth of July and you can usually expect rain and sludge for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Toilet Train Your Baby? Yeah, Right

As if there isn’t enough to do everyday. The new parenting fad is diaperless babies, and learning how to decipher your baby’s grunts and determine which means, “RUN TO THE TOILET NOW!”

Deck The Halls With Balls of Holly

You can learn a lot about Christmas carols if you just sing along with your kiddos.
I like to sing in the van. The kids aren’t old enough to be totally embarrassed by
this so I can still get away with it. Here are some of the lyrics I’ve heard my
little improvisers come up with.

Cat Conspiracy

I have nine cats and I truly believe they are conspiring to drive me insane. A dog wouldn’t do this. Dogs are straight-forward. You know where you stand with a dog.

‘Twas The Night Before Halloween

‘Twas the night before Halloween and all through the
place not a candy was left how could Momma save face?

Strong Like A Woman

I don’t know where people got the impression that women were the weaker sex, especially when you consider that many women today (and always) gestate, carry around a living, developing baby, go through intense labor, give birth and the next day they are nursing a baby while they vacuum, make grocery lists, chaperone toddlers, negotiate with their teenagers and order meat for the freezer all while standing over a hot stove cooking dinner.

If You See My Get Up And Go…Tell Me Where It Went!

You know those types of days. You have a nagging cold that isn't big enough to keep you in bed, but it's sure big enough to make you feel like you stuffed your head in a goldfish bowl.

Jelly Mom Humor - An Untimely Terrible Infection

I got this Untimely Terrible Infection a few weeks ago. And like a brave mom, I tried to take care of my malady at home, quietly instead of with a quick trip to the doctors office. I drank gallons of cranberry juice and water and gained ten pounds but that didn't save my kidneys from the spread of the Untimely Terrible Infection.

These Boots Were Made For Shopping

Give me an hour, twenty bucks, and a shopping cart at the Dollar Store and you’ll have one happy Momma.

The Tale of The Skeenky Hepper

It starts with an odor that you and your spouse try to ignore. Then, you one-up each other with casual remarks about what that smell could possibly be. Finally, one of you dares to identify the stink HOPING that your spouse will own up to the fact that it’s HIS/HER turn to attend to it.

Summer Vacation Fun

The kids all want to go to Disneyland, but I don’t see
what the big deal is. I mean, it’s not like we don’t
ever go anywhere fun. Don’t they remember
Laundryland?